As a recovering woman the years have brought me many challenges. Always in search of the easier, softer way, I have discovered the direct path works every time. When we seek to “fix,” rather than experience our lives become complicated. Problems are a natural part of our lives. However, lessons in coping with the many faces of life are missing.
I don’t know about you, but for me my life moto was “Never let them see you sweat.” That was one of my first early life lessons. That and how to swing a hammer without smashing my fingers. Based on this philosophy I gravitated towards a life that continued that motto.
You did not say you were sorry, nor did you ever apologize. No tears were shed. If you had to cry, find a closet and cry silently. This was the rules for my childhood and I carried them into my adulthood.
I lived a life of self-medicating. I partied hard, could drink anyone under the table. Until I could not. Blackouts began. Then it stopped working. Drugs and alcohol no longer kept the monsters as bay and I could not hide.
Recovery taught me how to experience my emotions, hear my thoughts, and how to become acquainted with me. It taught me how to honor who I had become and who I am now. Age has refined those messages.
I learned a new set of rules for an ethical life. I am an ordained minister, who took the title Priestess because it is feminine. Feminine is important to me. Connecting with the feminine has taught me love, patience, giving, and honoring me first, then you. I have obtained a master’s degree, actually two of them. I have spent the last 26 years of my life developing living skills. Truthfully, the first few years were more about developing coping skills. I tell you this not to brag, but to share my victories.
My achievements are victories. Because of the messages I received, my rules said I would never be anybody, never achieve or live my life. I would always survive, never thrive.
During these years I learned about ethics. As a minister, spiritual lifestyle coach, Reiki Master/Teacher, and a substance abuse/chemical dependency counselor I am bound by ethics of the professions. However, I developed a personal set of ethics derived from these. I believe we should have our own set of personal ethics. Not just values and morals, both important, but incorporate them into a set of ethical principles in which to live our lives.
- Confidentiality is a must. Gossip kills, maims, and brings harm to the teller, the listener, and the subject of the gossip.
- Always ask permission to help, never assume your help is wanted. If someone requests on behalf of another, always check to see if that person gave her permission for the request.
- Love and honor of self is first. Once you achieve this, the rest falls into place. You cannot help but love and honor another.
- Bring no harm to any, this includes people, places, things, animals, and the world in general. First do no harm to self, it follows you cannot bring harm to others.
- Pay it forward. We can each afford a bottle of water or some other form of food or resource to those in need. If you cannot do that, send a prayer of blessing to the person you see in need. Tithe that prayer, moment, or thought to help another.
- Rather than feed the anger, fear, or other similar emotion in another, provide support and offer blessings, prayers, solace, a hug, or love. We all want to vent about some injustice, whether real or imagined. Rather than feeding the energy, help to redirect it. If not then, later.
- Bring love to all you do. Even when tired, angry, lonely, frustrated. Take a breath and bring love to the moment. No, it is not easy, you need a reminder.
- Teach rather than lecture. Share experience, strength, and hope to help another find her way.
These are just a few ideas for your own personal code of ethics. In a perfect world we would not need them.
If you would like to learn more about ethics, here are a couple of links.
My suggestion is to take a minute and consider your personal code of ethics. If you would like to share your code of ethics, please do. You can find me on Facebook, Google +, Twitter, Pinterest, and About.me to list a few. Or you can send me a message via Skype, or add your comment here.
I look forward to reading your code of ethics.