This phrase, “A Right Perspective,” was a title in an article I was reading regarding God, being a Christian, and the outlook for the future, especially for youth.
So often the word “right” is used in context to beliefs, as if there is one way to believe. “My way is the only right way.”
“A” is a singular use, meaning only one. “Right” defined as correct, or the opposite of left, meaning handedness. “Perspective” is a view point, a way of seeing something or believing it. “A Right Perspective” is defined as “One Correct Belief.”
Our belief is shaped by others’ truths, events in our life, and the way we finally define what occurs to make sense. If the event is repeated, this becomes a belief system. For instance, a child may be called stupid or a problem child enough times, he or she will hold that as a right perspective.
Is right true? Your answer will depend on your beliefs. The answer is never the same for each person. Debates happen because of differences in understanding and beliefs. Because you bump into the same table again and again, does not mean it is true that you are clumsy. It simply means you need to adjust the table, move it out of the way.
Truth is held at high standards for each person. Your truth is not the same as your neighbors. An addict/alcoholic, trauma survivor, each share a different form of truth. The belief is based upon a life time of experiences. Justification and rationalization are a part of shaping that truth.
When an addict/alcoholic is finally pushed to get help, he or she may hold that a right perspective is as simple as “I am not harming anyone else, this is my body, I will do as I will.” Denial is strong and the truth is shaped to fit the life style. Where as an abuser will claim it is the other person’s fault, that he or she was made to act out violently or verbally abusive. This is a right perspective based upon the personal experiences and the creation of belief through the years.
The fear of becoming sober (addicts, alcoholics, abusers, etc.) is strong. Sobriety is a foreign land, never visited for long and always uncomfortable. Use of substances and behaviors protect the person from his or her own trauma. Self-medicating works, until it does not.
Denial is strong, a right perspective that is held in honor. Leading someone to understand and change that belief is a slow step by step process. First the problem must be clear. Getting arrested is not the problem, the lifestyle is not the problem, you will hear that many times. Serving time in prison or jail is not the problem, it is a way of life. There has to be a problem that he or she believes exists and that sobriety and recovery are the only solution.
Listening to the person’s story will provide you with all the answers required to create a road map through sobriety. Resources are plentiful. Anyone can do sobriety, it is recovery that gets a bit trickier.
Recovery lasts a life time and creates a quality of life beyond what one may ever imagine. Healing is the greatest gift in recovery. It is not always easy. A guide and support group are necessary for success. There is a reason that 12-step groups provide tokens at 30, 60, and 90 day points in sobriety. These are the easiest times to relapse.
Develop a support group, find someone who will be honest with you and support you in developing self-honesty. S.H.O.W. Self-Honesty, Open mindedness, Willingness. You can include Desire. Very few choose one day to get sober, it usually takes an act of law to bring someone into sobriety. When you get here, stay here by taking the necessary steps to enter recovery.
Want a confidante that you can rely one? Someone who has traversed the ravines and wilds of early recovery? Contact me today and set an appointment for your free consultation. Let’s see if we can work together.