Are you a Disruptor or a Conformist?
I ask this question because disruptive thinking is and has been my way of life. I have attempted to live as a conformist, failing miserably and being miserable. I have never been a traditional kind of gal. A rebel, questioner and all around disruptive woman.
Stuck at 3-years old for eternity. What do I mean? I ask “WHY?” I hear have to, should, need to, I ask “WHY?” Ever spend time with a 3-year old? That is their favorite question.
I cannot go quietly into the night. I need to know why. There are those who are very uncomfortable in my presence, work very hard at finding ways to make me conform, to be quiet, to stop questioning. I cannot be bullied, terrified, beaten into being what they want me to be. I am a Disruptor.
When I came across T.D. Jakes book, Disruptive Thinking, I thought ehhhh? But I ordered the book from the library and read it. I could not put it down. I heard me. In so many ways his story and his life resonates, his words brought home for me the life of trauma and how it disrupts our daily life even after the trauma is over.
Recovery is a long road. No matter what you are recovering from. Getting sober is disruptive. We can gain skills to remain sober, even live a life of recovery. We are always conditioning ourselves, even after honing living skills that serve us well in our new life. It is a disruption to what was so that we may become what is. We are establishing disruptive thinking.
T.D, Jakes is a pastor, who has served his community and expanded to serve the nation. For those who care to listen, he has been a disruptor and an inovator. He has achieved recognition, accolades and earned his place in history.
Disruptive Thinking is about how life brings disruption and offers suggestions on how to adapt and thrive. I brought this book out because it hits home now more than it did before. Our nation became complacent. The myth: “It cannot Happen to me” is now more than ever elusive. Because it is happening to us, now. The world as we know it is over. We will never be the same.
Events turning loved ones against each other, friends and alliances falling apart because of the differences in beliefs. Youth lost in turmoil looking for information to bring about changes and make decisions that will serve their generation. Who do they listen to?
Each side believes they are right. Perhaps they are. At least for self, the truth is real. What is true for one is not true for another. We can each share the same experience and yet, not have the same experience outcome. Our life stories shape how we operate in this word from breath to breath.
STOP. Inhale through your nose, deeply to your toes. Hold to the count of 4. Exhale through your nose from the toes to the top of your head. Release the tension. Shake like a dog shaking the water of her back.
Our daily lives, beliefs, traditions, are disrupted, brought into question. It is time to learn how to live in this new world. Time to learn how to hone our skills and understand our motivations. And dare I say, recognize that all you have ever known is no more, it was an illusion, a lie we became convinced was truth. We have entered into learning a new skill, disruptive thinking.
Do you dare step into a new paradigm? We live in a paradigm, between human and spiritual, hence the name of my business: A Spiritual Paradigm. We are spiritual beings when we align with that. It may be the only truth that will never fail us.
This is the contents of the book, a great guide that can assist in adapting to the disruption in our lives now. I am reading it again, making copious notes and finding questions that fit with my past life and into my recovery.
Chapter 5 asks a very good question: Why Disrupt? Answer, you can make a decision to disrupt or not. One of the best living skills any animal has in this world is a reset. The system is disrupted by a traumatic event, joy and laughter, distractions, or any other event possible. Once it is over, passed on, the body can reset to what it was previously. Does it last? Possible, it greatly depends on the event, if it was a one time and short duration event or a repeated or drawn out event. For the latter, reset is next to impossible, we can pretend, but it remains a constant passenger in our life.
Repeat: Are you a Disruptor or a Conformist?
To be a conformist is to hone that skill of reset each time there is a disruption to your flow. Living in your chosen belief. There is nothing wrong with that. I do not berate, punish or tell someone they are wrong. It is not my life. There are times I am jealous of those who can conform. As I stated when I began this piece, I cannot do it. My flame burns freely, not in a container.
Conforming is safe, at least for a time. You go with the flow, along with the crowd, unnoticed and content with that life style. Good for you. I do envy you, I have often wondered what it would be like, I never found out.
Being a disruptor is about challenging the norm. Stepping outside of that comfort zone, questions everything, asking those difficult questions. I discovered I do better as a loner. I have friends, we are as close as we can be. Family the same. They do not understand me, attempt to convince me I would be so much better their way. I would be miserable.
Your Life, Your Terms
The way you choose to live is your choice. It is your life. No one to please but you. Whether you are married or not. Your choice.
However, I still urge you to learn the skills taught through being a disruptor to live in the ongoing disruptions thrown into our lives. It has happened to you, me and all of us. What was is no more.
I repeat what I have said for years: I am my best security. As you are your best security.
In Closing
There comes a time we need someone outside of our circle to bend their ear, lean on a shoulder, someone who will not pass judgement, or ridicule, fault, or shame for feelings, thoughts, or way of life.
I am available. No judgements. But be forewarned I do challenge the way of thought. I do ask questions, none you ever have to answer. However, if you just want someone to listen I can do that as well. Here is my contact page.
I want you to be safe, secure and balanced. You are not in this alone.
